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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery: Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action, by Allen Berger Ph. D.
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Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness.
To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which includeconfusing self-concern with selfishnessnot making amendsusing the program to try to become perfectnot getting help for relationship troublesbelieving that life should be easyIn simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.
- Sales Rank: #16048 in Books
- Brand: Berger, Allen
- Published on: 2008-02-11
- Released on: 2008-02-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.42" h x .40" w x 5.10" l, .33 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 136 pages
About the Author
Allen Berger, PhD, a popular public speaker and nationally recognized expert on the science of recovery, is the author of 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone, and 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends. His pamphlet, How to Get the Most Out of Group Therapy, helps clients in treatment, continuing care, or Twelve Step groups, understand what happens in group meetings and how these meetings help members acquire recovery skills.Dr. Berger lives in Los Angeles, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
192 of 196 people found the following review helpful.
Addiction is not the only problem, best relapse prevention book I've read.
By Barbara S. Reeves
In research supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, tests using PET scans of addict's brains demonstrate that once addiction has been established, the addict's brain physically changes, possibly forever. These changes make it difficult for an addict to learn from their experiences. Psychological processes, such as denial, and neuro-psychological processes, such as state-dependent learning, interfere with the addict's ability to retain the needed information necessary to break the bonds of addiction. This is one key trait that all addicts share - they don't "learn their lesson." This is why it's also said in twelve step groups that there is no mental defense against addiction; a fit spiritual condition is our only hope. Allen Berger has written "12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery" to help us stay in fit spiritual condition.
The 12 stupid things are:
1) Believing addiction to one substance is the only problem.
2) Believing sobriety will fix everything.
3) Pursuing recovery with less energy than pursuing addiction.
4) Being selectively honest.
5) Feeling special and unique.
6) Not making amends.
7) Using the program to become perfect.
8) Confusing self-concern with selfishness.
9) Playing futile self-improvement games.
10) Not getting help for relationship troubles.
11) Believing that life should be easy.
12) Using the program to handle everything.
Once we get the monkey off our backs, emotional sobriety is the next step in recovery. Because drugs and alcohol suppress emotions, addicts don't develop the emotional maturity necessary to learn from life experiences. Once the drugs and alcohol are removed, we still have to face the problems we've been running from: severe and incapacitating depression or anxiety, chronic relationship problems, underachievement, unprocessed traumas, insomnia, anger and rage, self-hate, fear of social interactions, inability to pursue dreams, thoughts of suicide, feeling lost and alone, and constantly thinking about using. Many of these problems are what caused us to become addicted in the first place, so if we don't learn how to deal with them, just simply not using is not going to work. These problems are not going to go away on their own.
"12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery" is one of the best relapse prevention books I've read. As every addict will tell you, quitting is easy, it's staying quit that is hard. If you are serious about recovery, and really want to quit, but just can't seem to, you may be making one or more of these mistakes, so read this book and give it another try.
David Allan Reeves
Author of "Running Away From Me"
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Sometimes 'The Obvious' Isn't Always So Obvious
By APG
What can I say? Berger breaks the cycle of overly complicated thinking that has become a way of life for addicts (and allows us to hide from the truth of our addictions) into bite-size chunks. I highly recommend his books and the journey to keeping it real and uncluttered. No more excuses.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Hit the mark
By Sarah Shilko-Mohr
When approaching the dilemna of addiction, there seem to be two interwoven necessities. The first, of course, is discontinuing the use of drugs, the other is re-evaluating the mindsets that led to the drug use. 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery follows very closely the 12 steps of NA or AA and explains in clear, concise terms what is the root mental outlook that each step is addressing. This is done with humor and frankness without being overly clinical or condescending. I found 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery to be illuminating and an easy read to boot.
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